Internet Induced Cat Rebellion – Part 2

-more stupid thoughts of a Guinevere (and some quite mean thoughts too) There are many theories about the impending destruction of humankind – it may or may not be the case that certain members of my family foresee a colossal fartpocalypse caused by too many cow farts tipping the balance of global warming (not caused by me asphyxiating the human race with one of my many stomach bugs – and by the way, I do at least 50% of the time exercise some of the main guidelines of diarrhoea etiquette by opening the bathroom window and replenishing the depleted toilet…

Internet Induced Cat Rebellion – Part 1

– stupid thoughts of a Guinevere (Guinevere is the fake name I am giving to myself for this story, and Lancelot is the fake name of my boyfriend.) Lancelot and I were having a pub garden conversation about cats. I was saying that a lot of internet cats are a bit retarded-looking, physically deformed or genetically weird. I said that I think the popularity of expensive full-breed cats will probably go downhill because there will be more and more demand for retarded and deformed cats. There will be cat breeders who find ways of breeding messed-up cats and they will be highly sought…

Itchy Bumhole – Google Messes With My Head

I am a magnet for fucked up shit! Please peruse my offerings, for you are sure to conclude the same: The other day I searched Google for something normal. Yes, really! Something normal! I do sometimes look for normal stuff. But Google is a living, thinking being, a big computer brain that is alive and emotional, a shit-stirrer disguised as a computer program. And he saw me coming! He said “Oh joy! Here comes Bananaflee (that’s my name for the purposes of this story). How can we screw with her head today?” He then replied to himself (he likes to talk to…