Meatball Soup

I wrote this letter of complaint to Marks and Spencer a few years ago: Dear M&S, I recently purchased a tub of your “Tomato & Meatball Soup”. This tub contained only two meatballs, and while they were absolutely delicious, this works out at only one meatball per soup bowl. I recommend that you increase your… Continue reading Meatball Soup

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Categorized as Letters

Bumhole Bus Journeys: Part 5

Friday: Today a 14-year old super-genius computer hacker called Vladimir got on the bus with his laptop. In return for a pizza and a 2 litre bottle of full-fat Coke, he invited us all to join him in his next hacking project which involved the Fonz (AKA Arthur Fonzarelli). He explained to us that the… Continue reading Bumhole Bus Journeys: Part 5

Bumhole Bus Journeys: Part 4

Thursday: It was a zombie apocalypse on the bus today. The main reason for the zombies doing so well was that everyone thought that they could kill dead (proper dead) the zombies by destroying their brains. It was the quick thinking and moderately brave actions of one Rhiannon that saved the day. She was the… Continue reading Bumhole Bus Journeys: Part 4

Bumhole Bus Journeys: Part 3

Wednesday: Today a madman with a potato gun and two gigantic buttocks held the bus hostage. His bum was so massive (even bigger than that ex-student’s bum who was trying to sue us for the last four years), so massive that his bum felt true comradeship with every bouncy castle he had ever encountered (although… Continue reading Bumhole Bus Journeys: Part 3

Bumhole Bus Journeys: Part 2

Tuesday: Today the bus got beamed up into an alien spaceship. The aliens had loads of really cool technology like an antimatter roller-coaster and photon torpedo enhanced anteaters. But if you want to have a tour of their spaceship, you have to pay for the tickets. This sounded good to me because I had a £20… Continue reading Bumhole Bus Journeys: Part 2