My New Jeans

This is the true story of what I discovered a few years ago when I bought my first ever pair of posh jeans. For the purposes of keeping this story kinda-anonymous, my fake name will be Violet Protoplasm, which will be highly necessary when this blog goes viral and causes everyone to die rolling around… Continue reading My New Jeans

Constipation – A story told by Scarlett in the language of smilies

By Scarlett (That’s still my fake name, but don’t worry, I will continue to use a variety of fake names in the future.)   The End An encyclopaedic note on the language of smilies: This language has been part of the human race’s plethora of communication forms since as far back as the times of monkey-people,… Continue reading Constipation – A story told by Scarlett in the language of smilies

Scarlett’s Exciting Day

For the purposes of this story, I will be using the fake name Scarlett and my boyfriend’s fake name will be Genghis. Yes, another diarrhoea story… Please read on. I awoke with an intense gut ache and outwards pressure of the bumhole. Diarrhoea again! It’s been two and a half weeks of diarrhoea from some nasty… Continue reading Scarlett’s Exciting Day

Internet Induced Cat Rebellion – Part 2

-more stupid thoughts of a Guinevere (and some quite mean thoughts too) There are many theories about the impending destruction of humankind – it may or may not be the case that certain members of my family foresee a colossal fartpocalypse caused by too many cow farts tipping the balance of global warming (not caused… Continue reading Internet Induced Cat Rebellion – Part 2