Itchy Bumhole – Google Messes With My Head

I am a magnet for fucked up shit! Please peruse my offerings, for you are sure to conclude the same: The other day I searched Google for something normal. Yes, really! Something normal! I do sometimes look for normal stuff. But Google is a living, thinking being, a big computer brain that is alive and emotional, a shit-stirrer disguised as a computer program. And he saw me coming! He said “Oh joy! Here comes Bananaflee (that’s my name for the purposes of this story). How can we screw with her head today?” He then replied to himself (he likes to talk to…

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Bum Undies

I hate bum undies! Those are the ones that go right up your bum crack and slide back up the moment you try to pull them out. But they disguise themselves as regular undies by not actually being thong design. Sometimes you can be shopping for undies and you hold up a pair of bum undies and they look exactly like comfy knickers, so you can buy them by accident and then the first time you wear them you discover that they have a bum hole magnet in them (and it is magnetically North while your bum hole is a…

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